Today is the last day of winter break. And even though I am not in the sixth grade, and most of my days were filled with a real job and other grown up responsibilities, I have that dull ache in my heart that accompanies going back to school. That ache, however, is also brought on by the neglect I treated this break with. As I tell people when they seem surprised I am still a student, I am on the 10 year plan. This means that compared to the average person, who has completed their bachelor's degree in the standard 4 years, I have been lucky enough to feel the joy and loss of 6 more winter breaks in my life. You would think by now I would have learned to treat them with respect, savoring each moment, well aware that it would all be over soon. Perhaps I would be running, in preparation for the Havasu Half in which I have my participation solidified in my mind (haven't registered yet though! WWFS?*).
A couple of times a year, when some type of competitive (I only compete against myself, or I would be a sore loser!) event comes up, such as the HH, I get psyched. I write out an elaborate training schedule, complete with diet and time increases over the weeks, and then I put it in my desk. And that's it. I'll run here and there, always telling myself I have blank amount of months/weeks/days left to get serious. Then when I realize I've paid $75 to do what most people won't do for free, in just two weeks, I kick it into high gear. But for anyone who even jogs on a regular basis, you know this is too little too late. Way too little too late. I read somewhere that there should be no more than a 10% distance increase in no less than 6 weeks. So if the race is in April and I've been running approximately zero miles then I guess that would be...near impossible. Any math experts in the house to tell me the numbers? I'm too scared to try.
The point of this post it that I'm lazy. Well, no not exactly. It is that I'm tired of telling myself I have those arbitrary amounts of time to get serious about things, about life. It is that wasted moments can never be replaced. It is to reiterate to myself, and anyone else who needs it, that words and numbers and team names may look good on paper, but it's the action behind them that takes you places.
So, self, and groupies...suit up!
*WWFS? = What Would Freud Say?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Vegan is as Vegan does
Yes, you have read correctly, it says "vegan". Not by accident, not as a joke, serious as a heart attack. This decision comes after much thought, research, and soul-searching by both my husband and myself. The events and contemplation leading up to the decision masked it in difficulty, but in the end, it was an easy and obvious choice. Most my of groupies (yes, that's you!) have already heard this news, but it feels good to put it out there in a public place. The more people that know, or have the ability to know, the more accountability there is on our part. It's one thing to let yourself down when no one knew there was something to be down about, it's another to do so when you have to answer to others (even if the comments would be about how great it is we gave it up!).
Prior to the new year, we had been rolling around the idea of being vegetarian. Sounded good; health benefits, ethical benefits, financial benefits...and we still got our cheese! We slowly started weaning ourselves off of meat, but continued our love affair with quesadillas and frozen yogurt. The problem I found was that in doing research on vegetarianism, the research on veganism was just a click underneath it. Being the Curious George that I am, I clicked! After that we started clicking everywhere, including many documentaries on NetFlix (how did we live without it?). The messages were strong and stuck. I started dreaming about arguing with people about cage free eggs, and how they are hardly a good alternative to normal eggs. I became upset when I learned that going vegan had more environmental benefits than switching to a hybrid car (but I still love my Prius!). I was ready; we were ready.
We finished our milk, shared one last heart felt moment with our quesadillas, and purged our pantry of anything with dairy. Then we went shopping. Sort of. (This is where my husband just about caved and had his way with the butcher's counter.) There is very little out there with no dairy! Meat was already out, but so were most dressings, baking ingredients, chocolate, and even some bread crumbs. Everything that sounded good for dinner was off limits. As the tiniest bit of depression worked its way into our minds, we made our way through the store, spending nearly twice as long as normal in sections we didn't know existed. In the end, we left with soup, tofu (!), black bean burgers, heaps of veggies, BBQ sauce, and some peanut butter cookies. Sounds healthy, right? It will be!
Needless to say, this new adventure has proven difficult. So far we have had vegan chili, vegan taco salad, and tons of vegan veggie pasta. Breakfast is easy, and salads are good for any meal. We are still working out the animal product bugs, and are finding tons of online guidance and recipes. In person, however, people are less accepting. Most act like I've told them we have some kind of communicable disease, and look completely disgusted. One person told me vegans smelled funny. A coworker thought it sounded like a fun experiment. My brother told me I'd better not (in that kind of threatening tone, as if implying he would administer some sort of punishment if I did. In your dreams Jeremy! I could take you any day!). But we have also found a ton of support from our family, and a little from friends, and that has been so helpful. Thanks guys!
Big life changes can be hard to swallow (like I imagine tofu). Old memories can come back to haunt you. Shortcomings test your self confidence. People's opinions can cloud judgement. But things worth having rarely come easy, and the past is a bridge to your future.
Challenge accepted!
Prior to the new year, we had been rolling around the idea of being vegetarian. Sounded good; health benefits, ethical benefits, financial benefits...and we still got our cheese! We slowly started weaning ourselves off of meat, but continued our love affair with quesadillas and frozen yogurt. The problem I found was that in doing research on vegetarianism, the research on veganism was just a click underneath it. Being the Curious George that I am, I clicked! After that we started clicking everywhere, including many documentaries on NetFlix (how did we live without it?). The messages were strong and stuck. I started dreaming about arguing with people about cage free eggs, and how they are hardly a good alternative to normal eggs. I became upset when I learned that going vegan had more environmental benefits than switching to a hybrid car (but I still love my Prius!). I was ready; we were ready.
We finished our milk, shared one last heart felt moment with our quesadillas, and purged our pantry of anything with dairy. Then we went shopping. Sort of. (This is where my husband just about caved and had his way with the butcher's counter.) There is very little out there with no dairy! Meat was already out, but so were most dressings, baking ingredients, chocolate, and even some bread crumbs. Everything that sounded good for dinner was off limits. As the tiniest bit of depression worked its way into our minds, we made our way through the store, spending nearly twice as long as normal in sections we didn't know existed. In the end, we left with soup, tofu (!), black bean burgers, heaps of veggies, BBQ sauce, and some peanut butter cookies. Sounds healthy, right? It will be!
Needless to say, this new adventure has proven difficult. So far we have had vegan chili, vegan taco salad, and tons of vegan veggie pasta. Breakfast is easy, and salads are good for any meal. We are still working out the animal product bugs, and are finding tons of online guidance and recipes. In person, however, people are less accepting. Most act like I've told them we have some kind of communicable disease, and look completely disgusted. One person told me vegans smelled funny. A coworker thought it sounded like a fun experiment. My brother told me I'd better not (in that kind of threatening tone, as if implying he would administer some sort of punishment if I did. In your dreams Jeremy! I could take you any day!). But we have also found a ton of support from our family, and a little from friends, and that has been so helpful. Thanks guys!
Big life changes can be hard to swallow (like I imagine tofu). Old memories can come back to haunt you. Shortcomings test your self confidence. People's opinions can cloud judgement. But things worth having rarely come easy, and the past is a bridge to your future.
Challenge accepted!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
I Live United
I recently became the United Way representative for the department I work for. The decision was voluntary, as many people fail to believe, and there was no guilt or coercion involved. I actually know very little about the program, and, in fact, did not even give last year. (For anyone even more unfamiliar with how United Way works than myself, the organization is a non-profit that at my place of employment takes a predetermined dollar amount out of each biweekly check for donation.) I will touch more on the many things they do another time, as I am still learning and would like to be as accurate as possible.
But United Way itself is not specifically why I titled this post the way I did. Living united is more than learning about charity and donating money. It is more than feeling bad for someone in need, or thinking that you want to do more but you are just one person. It is about doing something to improve the world, about leaving your trail cleaner than you found it. All it takes is one person. One person to make change, and one person to be changed. Giving time and money is more than charity, it is fuel for a movement; a human movement.
I have chosen to give my time to a cause I deeply believe in, and hope to educate more people so that they may feel the same. I say cause because the time may be in the name of United Way, but it is in the spirit of the people who are touched by the benefits. I choose to live united with my world, to understand that my life goes deeper than that of one individual. I choose to live united for today, tomorrow, and the future I will never see.
Living united is a lifestyle, not simply a declaration.
But United Way itself is not specifically why I titled this post the way I did. Living united is more than learning about charity and donating money. It is more than feeling bad for someone in need, or thinking that you want to do more but you are just one person. It is about doing something to improve the world, about leaving your trail cleaner than you found it. All it takes is one person. One person to make change, and one person to be changed. Giving time and money is more than charity, it is fuel for a movement; a human movement.
I have chosen to give my time to a cause I deeply believe in, and hope to educate more people so that they may feel the same. I say cause because the time may be in the name of United Way, but it is in the spirit of the people who are touched by the benefits. I choose to live united with my world, to understand that my life goes deeper than that of one individual. I choose to live united for today, tomorrow, and the future I will never see.
Living united is a lifestyle, not simply a declaration.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
I'm Going Green
I think it started when I was about 25, which makes sense. I've read from numerous sources that 25 seems to be a magical age for discovering yourself, and, in turn, discovering the world around you. I know that more marriages survive the long haul when both parties are at least that age. There seems to be a distinct separation of my life before I was 25, and after, almost like two different people. The most notable change to me is my perception of the human-planet relationship.
In the past I have written about my attempts at gardening, my feelings on our history and future, and the need for feeling good about myself. Things I have not written about (but may be coming!) include other "hippy" (as I derogatorily like to refer to environmentally friendly things as) topics, such as; switching to organic food, swearing off plastic bags, recycling everything I can get my hands on, and buying biodegradable cleaning products. Needless to say, this all happened after I turned 25. But I didn't feel these things were enough. I think that being fortunate to live in one of the richest and most powerful countries in the world also comes with a great responsibility. Having the means and opportunities doesn't give us the right to ruin it for people who don't; we should be using those means and opportunities for improvement.
To get back on topic, or to narrow down my topic, I frequently feel terrible about myself for multiple reasons revolving around the environment and how little I actually do. In comparison to others, I may be doing quite a bit, but a good friend of mine told me tonight that you can't just be happy or fulfilled by comparison, you have to feel it for yourself. So we bought a Prius! And not just any Prius, the plug-in hybrid. We traded a gas-guzzling lifted Dodge Ram, which had tons of cargo space, towing capability, and a little sense of being more powerful than other cars on the road. But, every time I looked at it or heard the engine rev up, all I could think of was foreign oil and melting ice bergs. After talking about AWDs, and MPGs, and SUVs, we spontaneously decided on a Prius.
She isn't named yet, and I don't even know if it's a she, but it is a gun metal metallic grey and dark grey interior. The technology featured in this specific Prius is the top of what Toyota offers in any of their vehicles. Blue Tooth, apps that sync with your phone, navigation, back up camera, remote keyless start, distance A/C initiation, plus about 30 different fuel monitors and settings (this is the really techy stuff), one of which is the EV mode to monitor and initiate your battery usage. It does a lot more along the lines of safety and performance, but it's like translating Greek (a little help Polly?) so you'll just have to trust me.
The Prius plug-in hybrid will not fit three dogs in the back, or two kayaks. It cannot tow a pontoon boat, or pull another vehicle out of the mud. It does not dominate the road, or let you know it's coming a mile away. But it feels good in my heart, and it's the right thing to do.
(My husband's going to get so much crap at work!)
In the past I have written about my attempts at gardening, my feelings on our history and future, and the need for feeling good about myself. Things I have not written about (but may be coming!) include other "hippy" (as I derogatorily like to refer to environmentally friendly things as) topics, such as; switching to organic food, swearing off plastic bags, recycling everything I can get my hands on, and buying biodegradable cleaning products. Needless to say, this all happened after I turned 25. But I didn't feel these things were enough. I think that being fortunate to live in one of the richest and most powerful countries in the world also comes with a great responsibility. Having the means and opportunities doesn't give us the right to ruin it for people who don't; we should be using those means and opportunities for improvement.
To get back on topic, or to narrow down my topic, I frequently feel terrible about myself for multiple reasons revolving around the environment and how little I actually do. In comparison to others, I may be doing quite a bit, but a good friend of mine told me tonight that you can't just be happy or fulfilled by comparison, you have to feel it for yourself. So we bought a Prius! And not just any Prius, the plug-in hybrid. We traded a gas-guzzling lifted Dodge Ram, which had tons of cargo space, towing capability, and a little sense of being more powerful than other cars on the road. But, every time I looked at it or heard the engine rev up, all I could think of was foreign oil and melting ice bergs. After talking about AWDs, and MPGs, and SUVs, we spontaneously decided on a Prius.
She isn't named yet, and I don't even know if it's a she, but it is a gun metal metallic grey and dark grey interior. The technology featured in this specific Prius is the top of what Toyota offers in any of their vehicles. Blue Tooth, apps that sync with your phone, navigation, back up camera, remote keyless start, distance A/C initiation, plus about 30 different fuel monitors and settings (this is the really techy stuff), one of which is the EV mode to monitor and initiate your battery usage. It does a lot more along the lines of safety and performance, but it's like translating Greek (a little help Polly?) so you'll just have to trust me.
The Prius plug-in hybrid will not fit three dogs in the back, or two kayaks. It cannot tow a pontoon boat, or pull another vehicle out of the mud. It does not dominate the road, or let you know it's coming a mile away. But it feels good in my heart, and it's the right thing to do.
(My husband's going to get so much crap at work!)
Thursday, July 19, 2012
I Have a Strange Addiction
I NEED to travel. The urge is so substantial that I don't even like to call it travel, because that makes it sound like something frivolous and of privilege. For me, it is a matter of survival and sanity. I have ignored house hold repairs, put off medical procedures, even delayed getting a puppy (doesn't sound like me does it!?) to ensure I can buy a plane ticket. I doubt it will get me on the next season of the show sharing its name with my post, but considering its abrupt beginnings and unexpected effects I do think it should qualify. I cannot remember ever having the desire or need for something as much as this addiction, and I cannot think of anything that has brought me such satisfaction and fulfillment. I have known love, comfort, happiness, excitement, and surprise. I have experienced the deep emotions evoked by sympathy, betrayal, abandonment, rejection, and anguish. But never have I felt all of those things at once; traveling does that to me.
There have been things that made me cry. Yes, literally. Seeing, and I mean really seeing, not just looking with your eyes (I understand now what they're talking about in Avatar), the towering columns of the Parthenon; touching the stone and walking over underground corridors that have been touched and walked over for thousands of years in the Colosseum; standing in castle-esque forts overlooking the ocean once manned by a king's army (dark dungeons with men's last words carved into the walls included)...these are the things of my addiction. But it is not just the monuments, not just the idea of being there, it's the reaffirmation to me that we are just one world.
There may be borders drawn on maps, taxation, embargoes, and a plethora of other man-made ideas used to separate themselves from others to gain power, freedom, money, etc., but in reality we cannot be separated. We have given ourselves certain identities to be a part of one team or another; a nationality, a name, a number, certain characteristics, a placement in the Olympics and ranks on various WHO publications. But we are all one. I have heard languages spoken in "biblical" times, nearly unchanged, long before the thought of an America or the idea of English. I have smelled and tasted food that has been grown and produced thousands of years before exportation and outsourcing. I have heard music that was being played before automatic weapons and party politics. Our history intertwines us as much as our present.
There is no difference in a hungry American child, and a hungry African child. Children are children, and being hungry feels the same no matter where you are. A raped American woman is the same as a raped Somalian woman. Women are women, and wrong is wrong no matter what your political status is. Poverty, wrongful imprisonment, disease, and oppression are not acceptable no matter what borders are crossed, people are people. One country's survival and success greatly depends on the others', we live in a global economy. One person's survival and success greatly depends on the others', we live on one Earth.
This is why I need to travel. To be humbled, and to decide how my time on that Earth with those people will be spent.
There have been things that made me cry. Yes, literally. Seeing, and I mean really seeing, not just looking with your eyes (I understand now what they're talking about in Avatar), the towering columns of the Parthenon; touching the stone and walking over underground corridors that have been touched and walked over for thousands of years in the Colosseum; standing in castle-esque forts overlooking the ocean once manned by a king's army (dark dungeons with men's last words carved into the walls included)...these are the things of my addiction. But it is not just the monuments, not just the idea of being there, it's the reaffirmation to me that we are just one world.
There may be borders drawn on maps, taxation, embargoes, and a plethora of other man-made ideas used to separate themselves from others to gain power, freedom, money, etc., but in reality we cannot be separated. We have given ourselves certain identities to be a part of one team or another; a nationality, a name, a number, certain characteristics, a placement in the Olympics and ranks on various WHO publications. But we are all one. I have heard languages spoken in "biblical" times, nearly unchanged, long before the thought of an America or the idea of English. I have smelled and tasted food that has been grown and produced thousands of years before exportation and outsourcing. I have heard music that was being played before automatic weapons and party politics. Our history intertwines us as much as our present.
There is no difference in a hungry American child, and a hungry African child. Children are children, and being hungry feels the same no matter where you are. A raped American woman is the same as a raped Somalian woman. Women are women, and wrong is wrong no matter what your political status is. Poverty, wrongful imprisonment, disease, and oppression are not acceptable no matter what borders are crossed, people are people. One country's survival and success greatly depends on the others', we live in a global economy. One person's survival and success greatly depends on the others', we live on one Earth.
This is why I need to travel. To be humbled, and to decide how my time on that Earth with those people will be spent.
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